(I've been asked by readers to post the following encore of an article I published here several years ago. I hope you find it to be helpful.)
I'm often asked about examples of challenging behaviors that I
noticed in my mother—behaviors that helped me to finally realize she was
sinking into dementia. The list below may help you to evaluate what is
happening to your loved one.
For Mom, it started slowly
with just a few of these behaviors attracting my attention. I just
passed them off to normal aging. Gradually, it reached the tipping point
where I could no longer ignore what was happening. There was an
emergency a day.
I lived 1500 miles North of Mom,
trying to run a business. Every day in the middle of some crisis at
work came a phone call about some calamity in Florida. Sometimes from
Mom, sometimes about Mom.
Up to 30% of my time was
being consumed as a long distance caregiver and decision maker—often
without the facts I needed to make correct, emotion free, objective
decisions. Frequent air travel to check things out became another costly
requirement. Here’s some of what I had to deal with:
•
NUTRITION: She was not eating well. Things in her refrigerator were
scary: ie: partly eaten fruits and cheeses with lots of mold.
• CLEANLINESS: Her house was dirty (she had been a meticulous housekeeper).
• HOUSEHOLD ORGANIZATION: There was clutter everywhere. This was not my mother!
• FIRE SAFETY: She was storing plastic bags in the oven. Then, forgetting, she was turning the oven on.
• REALITY ISSUES: Hallucinations about mice were occurring with increasing frequency.
•
HEALTH ISSUES: Many health issues were threatening her well-being.
Hospitalizations for pneumonia, arthritis, etc., were becoming more
frequent.
• DRUG COMPLIANCE: She was non-compliant with
medications with the result that her blood pressure was out of control
and other health conditions were not receiving prescribed therapy.
•
MEDICAL CARE: She changed doctors (and HMO's) several times each year.
Continuity of care suffered and I could not build a useful relationship
with her physicians.
• INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: She was
isolating herself—alienating friends and family with harsh, judgmental
personality changes.
• FALLING: She fell in her room, sustained a serious head injury and no one found her for 2 days
• FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT: She was messing up her finances and making other poor judgments.
•
HOUSING: She became a housing hopper: In a 2 year period she went from
her Florida house to a Florida condo to a furnished condo in Michigan
back to her Florida condo to senior apartment to assisted living in
Florida back to assisted living in Michigan. She had trouble settling in
anywhere.
• DRIVING: Her driving became a daily nightmare with multiple fender benders and traffic violations.
Sound
familiar? Are any or all of these things happening to your mom, dad,
spouse or significant other? I hope not, but if they are, it may be time
to seek a professional geriatric evaluation.
Robert Tell
Author, "Dementia-Diary, A Caregiver's Journal"
http://www.RobertTell.com